I have censored myself throughout my life. While I was growing up, there was the censorship of not telling anyone about the abuse. There was always the need to censor what emotions I was displaying. As a child, I was not supposed to get mad or sad. My least favorite thing to hear was, "I'll … Continue reading Uncensored
Lately, I have been looking at my self and looking at the hard truths that I would rather not look at too closely. This weekend I had one of those realizations that shake the way I look at myself. I realized that I need to change how I frame things in my mind and in … Continue reading Is this an attack or just a bad day?
Several months ago, my daughter started a group. It is just a small group, my daughters and I. We meet once a week to talk about our health. We talk about how we are doing physically, mentally, emotionally, anything that affects our health. The group is called Cuties Get Healthy. This past week we started … Continue reading Our Bodies
When I was young, I experienced a lot of art trauma, caused by the type of things that people say when you are learning to be creative. In my case it was the usual experience of having the teacher point out that the sky is blue, not green, or that the girl whose picture you … Continue reading Spirals
In February I started to have a difficult time. I say that what it was was a small breakdown. It probably was just that, a small breakdown. I realized that there parts of me that I had abandoned and cast aside because someone said something to me that, in essence, said I was wrong. Whether … Continue reading grieving
Lately, I have had to look at myself very closely. I have had to examine what I can do and what I struggle to do. I have had to examine how I move through the world. I have created a myriad of coping strategies that help me to move through the world and feel safe. … Continue reading How I move through the world
I spent the last few weeks looking at a habit. I wanted to see where this new habit came from. Well, I knew where it came from. It came from my need or desire to escape the things that were bothering me. What I really wanted to know was what I was escaping. And it … Continue reading Looking Closely at Habits
Several weeks ago I wrote about not being broken. And I really do believe that we, I, am not broken. In my head, I genuinely think this. In my heart, I struggle every day. I know that I am growing and learning about how to move beyond the trauma, but I am also still struggling … Continue reading Is it fear of failure or success?
Almost a year and a half ago my heart decided to do strange things. The electrical circuitry in my heart decided to go rogue on me. It started by going out of rhythm and then going fast. The doctors got that straightened out and then my heart decided to show me who was boss. Again … Continue reading Waiting to Die vs. Learning to Live
After a long break in writing this blog I began to wonder why am I writing this or who am I writing it for. I started writing this to tell some of my stories and to just feel like maybe there was someone out there that this could help. Maybe there was someone who just … Continue reading Bringing Peace to Anxiety