Usually what happens when I am severely stressed is that I go to ground. I block out the world and go into preservation mode. This means that I do only what is necessary to sustain my life and those around me. I cook meals, make sure everyone is fed and cared for. That is it. … Continue reading Deciding not to hide
I rarely say that I am fine when asked how I am. I say things like: I'm still here, still living, doing well, or one of those days. Pretty much anything. But I don't say I'm fine if I'm not. I stopped lying about myself a while ago.It all started off with a book I … Continue reading Why I rarely say I am fine
The Earth Breathes I sat in the surf and let the water pass over meI felt the pull of the currentsAs they ebbed and flowedThe sand piled around mePlaced by the wavesI felt the breath of the earthIn each wave that moved over meBreathing me into its depthsReleasing the pressure in my heart I felt the wind … Continue reading The Earth Breathes
I wanted to write about validation. I even wrote the whole post out. Then I realized how dark it felt. I realized I had tapped into all those negative feelings of invalidation that I have experienced. All the times I was told that I should not talk about the abuse or what happened were brought … Continue reading The Ball: a story of validation
It was not that long ago that my main goal in life was to be invisible. If no one saw me than the chances of getting judged, hurt, embarrassed or any other negative social encounter were minimized. This however,much to my disappointment, never worked. I am basically a friendly person and though I try to … Continue reading I am a recovering perfectionist.
New Years and resolutions go hand in hand. Resolution and guilt also go hand in hand. The number of people I know who make and then keep New Year's resolutions could be counted on one hand. I personally try very hard to avoid making specific resolutions. I prefer making general resolutions. These types of resolutions … Continue reading Resolutions