Sleep is one of the most incredible things in the world. There is nothing like a warm bed on a cold night or a pile of comfortable pillows to make into a nest giving you a snug and safe feeling. I love the feeling of slowly falling off to sleep and experiencing the snuggling comfort … Continue reading Sleep
PTSD
Remembering
These posts are pieces from the book on healing that I have been working on, and some of them were written months ago, while others are written more recently. remembering trauma I hate remembering the trauma. The process my mind has set up is usually heralded in by nightmares. I rate my nightmares on a … Continue reading Remembering
Depression Check list
The last few weeks have been hard for me. My depression got a jump start due to a conversation that triggered some of my trauma responses. And then some other things happened that triggered more trauma responses. I call them trauma responses for the lack of a better term. My body reacts to the trigger … Continue reading Depression Check list
Talking About Things
Sometimes I wonder about whether I should talk about the fact that I have difficulty with some situations. There have definitely been some negative moments arising from talking about my issues. There have also been some very amazing growth experiences. I just spent four days in the hospital while the doctors tried to figure out … Continue reading Talking About Things
Square pegs, round holes
Now that I have finished with school it is time to figure out how I will pay back my student loans. I have been offered a job where I have been doing my internship. However, I am uncertain as to whether this will be a good fit. I have spent the last 11 1/2 months … Continue reading Square pegs, round holes
How I want others to see me
I was going to write about what I would like people to know and understand about having PTSD. I deleted the whole thing. It felt like a rant and not something helpful at all. Although sometimes rants are helpful. But I would like to share instead all the positive things I feel that I have … Continue reading How I want others to see me
What does it feel like to have PTSD
Someone once asked me what it felt like to have PTSD. They asked me what it was like and how did I handle the things that came up because of the PTSD. I don't remember what it was that I said or if I was able to give an accurate assessment of what it feels … Continue reading What does it feel like to have PTSD
Stress Baking and Movies
When I get really depressed I am a lump. That is it. I don't go anywhere. I don't do anything. But when I am panicked or anxiety or just plain stressed. I bake. A lot. There was a time about, well a long time ago, that I baked four different coffee cakes, cookies and bread. … Continue reading Stress Baking and Movies
Some of my best friends are books
I get lost in books. I go to them when I am overcome with pain and sorrow. I go to them when the world becomes too much to bear. When the depression creates a loss in my heart that I can not fill in any way. I open a book. It takes me to places … Continue reading Some of my best friends are books
Safety
Safety is something that should never be discounted. Feeling safe has been a very integral part of healing. When I am unable to do something because I am afraid or the situation triggers panic for me I stop and try to see how to change it. I have learned that I am a triangle peg … Continue reading Safety
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