Several weeks ago I wrote about not being broken. And I really do believe that we, I, am not broken. In my head, I genuinely think this. In my heart, I struggle every day. I know that I am growing and learning about how to move beyond the trauma, but I am also still struggling … Continue reading Is it fear of failure or success?
Depression
“That is not your story”
I was told by my daughter today that people who are not depressed tend to be proactive. "I'm proactive," I said. "Everyday I make plans and come up with strategies on how to get out of bed and accomplish things, like making it through the day." "That's not proactive, that's survival," she said. "That's stupid," … Continue reading “That is not your story”
Not Broken
I am not broken. I may be a little dented and scared, but I am not broken. I think that there are a lot of people who think that their anxiety and depression makes them broken. I have thought that I was broken. I have let myself fall into a place where I felt broken. … Continue reading Not Broken
Anxiety: Friend, Foe, or Super Power
Anxiety has been both friend and foe all my life. Lately, it has also become my super power. As far back as I can remember I have had anxiety attacks. I didn’t know what they were or that other people felt the same way, I only knew that there were times when I felt unbelievably … Continue reading Anxiety: Friend, Foe, or Super Power
Changing the River
There are rivers that flow Each generation steps into the waters of their family Waters of the generations flow over and around each person For some the waters flow sparkling past Filled with love and contentment For some the water flows inky black Filled with pain and sorrow Passed from one generation to another Ripping … Continue reading Changing the River
Being Alive and Living
A few weeks ago I was faced with a serious health issue. One that required me to go to the hospital and receive emergency assistance. But before I made the decision to go to the hospital I had to make a choice. For the last several months I have been weighted down with deep exhaustion. … Continue reading Being Alive and Living
My Daughter, My Hero
For the last few months I have been struggling. Struggling to write this blog. Struggling to find a peaceful place in my mind. Just struggling with everything. Then something began to change in my house. My daughter, who has been struggling with depression for a while started to do something different. She started to exercise. … Continue reading My Daughter, My Hero
Looking for a spark
Breathing in and breathing out. Opening myself to each day. There are times that I come to a point of complete exhaustion. When I become so tired and feel ready to be done. Days where I would welcome an end to the pain. Because to be honest there really are no pain free days. There … Continue reading Looking for a spark
Continuity
Lately I have been overwhelmed by stress and changes in the things around me. By the end of the day I am filled with extreme sensory overload. It sometimes reaches a point that the only thing that I can do is go to bed and hide under my covers for half an hour. After one … Continue reading Continuity
Looking for Family
When I was younger I desperately wanted a family. At the time I was not particularly close to any member of my birth family. Because of this I would try to meld with others into their family, I felt like the proverbial cuckoo's egg. I was trying to plant myself in to a family. Doing … Continue reading Looking for Family
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