There is a fir tree outside my bedroom window. When there is no snow and the day is clear, the branches all curve upwards to the sun. However, when it snows, the branches of the tree all sag downward with the weight of the snow. The tree sometimes looks like a collapsed umbrella. Depression can … Continue reading Be the Tree
coping with depression
Bringing Peace to Anxiety
After a long break in writing this blog I began to wonder why am I writing this or who am I writing it for. I started writing this to tell some of my stories and to just feel like maybe there was someone out there that this could help. Maybe there was someone who just … Continue reading Bringing Peace to Anxiety
Pain Box
Pain Box: a place where you put pain when you are not in a place or position to be able to allow others know that you are experiencing pain. When I was younger and having to go from day to day with varying amounts of pain depending on the level of abuse, I developed a … Continue reading Pain Box
Being Alive and Living
A few weeks ago I was faced with a serious health issue. One that required me to go to the hospital and receive emergency assistance. But before I made the decision to go to the hospital I had to make a choice. For the last several months I have been weighted down with deep exhaustion. … Continue reading Being Alive and Living
My Daughter, My Hero
For the last few months I have been struggling. Struggling to write this blog. Struggling to find a peaceful place in my mind. Just struggling with everything. Then something began to change in my house. My daughter, who has been struggling with depression for a while started to do something different. She started to exercise. … Continue reading My Daughter, My Hero
Looking for a spark
Breathing in and breathing out. Opening myself to each day. There are times that I come to a point of complete exhaustion. When I become so tired and feel ready to be done. Days where I would welcome an end to the pain. Because to be honest there really are no pain free days. There … Continue reading Looking for a spark
Square pegs, round holes
Now that I have finished with school it is time to figure out how I will pay back my student loans. I have been offered a job where I have been doing my internship. However, I am uncertain as to whether this will be a good fit. I have spent the last 11 1/2 months … Continue reading Square pegs, round holes
Pushing to hard
For the last few weeks I have been insanely busy. For those of you who have come by looking to see if there was anything new I apologize for the lack, and I will try to be more diligent in writing. For the last year I have been pushing myself very hard. I have tried … Continue reading Pushing to hard
Continuity
Lately I have been overwhelmed by stress and changes in the things around me. By the end of the day I am filled with extreme sensory overload. It sometimes reaches a point that the only thing that I can do is go to bed and hide under my covers for half an hour. After one … Continue reading Continuity
Looking for Family
When I was younger I desperately wanted a family. At the time I was not particularly close to any member of my birth family. Because of this I would try to meld with others into their family, I felt like the proverbial cuckoo's egg. I was trying to plant myself in to a family. Doing … Continue reading Looking for Family