There is a fir tree outside my bedroom window. When there is no snow and the day is clear, the branches all curve upwards to the sun. However, when it snows, the branches of the tree all sag downward with the weight of the snow. The tree sometimes looks like a collapsed umbrella. Depression can … Continue reading Be the Tree
anxiety
Safety or Comfort
I have been slowly reading through Emotional Agility. It is taking me a while to work my way through the book. I read some, and then I think about it. I have started to write in my books. Something that I did very seldom and only with textbooks when I was in college. I have opted for … Continue reading Safety or Comfort
Depression and the Art of Listening to Myself
These have been dark days. Depression, which usually lies as an underthought to my day, has begun controlling things again. I seem to spend more time hiding in bed because my heart hurts. My heart hurts because I am triggering my body into self-protection mode, much like what it went into right before I got … Continue reading Depression and the Art of Listening to Myself
Moving from Anxiety to a Plan
Living with a mental illness is difficult. When I am at home, I have trouble coping with some situations, but all I have to do is say I am having difficulty. In contrast, many things trigger my anxiety out in the world, so many opportunities for my executive functions to freeze up. An excellent example … Continue reading Moving from Anxiety to a Plan
Overthinking
Recently I started reading a book called Don't Overthink It by Anne Bogel. Overthinking is something that gets me into more trouble than I want. Especially att his time of quarantine and unsurity. I have had bouts of agoraphobia in the past. Going to new or crowded places, not to mention closed in, are very anxiety-producing for … Continue reading Overthinking
Lessons I learned from a Chicken
Over the last two years, we have acquired a small flock of chickens—the first ten we bought at the feed store as chicks. We lost three to random wild animal attacks last summer. Last fall, we found four chickens abandoned on the side of the road, just left there in the woods to be eaten … Continue reading Lessons I learned from a Chicken
Is this an attack or just a bad day?
Lately, I have been looking at my self and looking at the hard truths that I would rather not look at too closely. This weekend I had one of those realizations that shake the way I look at myself. I realized that I need to change how I frame things in my mind and in … Continue reading Is this an attack or just a bad day?
New Year, New Things
Like everyone else, I spent the last few days of 2018 thinking about ways to change. I took a good look at what I was doing, who I had become and what I want to happen in the new year. I spent a lot of time looking at myself and seeing all the ways that I … Continue reading New Year, New Things
How I move through the world
Lately, I have had to look at myself very closely. I have had to examine what I can do and what I struggle to do. I have had to examine how I move through the world. I have created a myriad of coping strategies that help me to move through the world and feel safe. … Continue reading How I move through the world
Learning from Chickens
I have been watching the chickens a lot this summer. I have found that some of them like to be by themselves, but one of them panics every time she notices that she is alone. This particular chicken is named Wolverine. (This because the feather arrangement around her face reminded us of Wolverine’s sideburns.) Wolverine … Continue reading Learning from Chickens
