Living with a mental illness is difficult. When I am at home, I have trouble coping with some situations, but all I have to do is say I am having difficulty. In contrast, many things trigger my anxiety out in the world, so many opportunities for my executive functions to freeze up. An excellent example … Continue reading Moving from Anxiety to a Plan
Recently I started reading a book called Don't Overthink It by Anne Bogel. Overthinking is something that gets me into more trouble than I want. Especially att his time of quarantine and unsurity. I have had bouts of agoraphobia in the past. Going to new or crowded places, not to mention closed in, are very anxiety-producing for … Continue reading Overthinking
Over the last two years, we have acquired a small flock of chickens—the first ten we bought at the feed store as chicks. We lost three to random wild animal attacks last summer. Last fall, we found four chickens abandoned on the side of the road, just left there in the woods to be eaten … Continue reading Lessons I learned from a Chicken
Lately, I have been looking at my self and looking at the hard truths that I would rather not look at too closely. This weekend I had one of those realizations that shake the way I look at myself. I realized that I need to change how I frame things in my mind and in … Continue reading Is this an attack or just a bad day?
Like everyone else, I spent the last few days of 2018 thinking about ways to change. I took a good look at what I was doing, who I had become and what I want to happen in the new year. I spent a lot of time looking at myself and seeing all the ways that I … Continue reading New Year, New Things
Lately, I have had to look at myself very closely. I have had to examine what I can do and what I struggle to do. I have had to examine how I move through the world. I have created a myriad of coping strategies that help me to move through the world and feel safe. … Continue reading How I move through the world
I have been watching the chickens a lot this summer. I have found that some of them like to be by themselves, but one of them panics every time she notices that she is alone. This particular chicken is named Wolverine. (This because the feather arrangement around her face reminded us of Wolverine’s sideburns.) Wolverine … Continue reading Learning from Chickens
Several weeks ago I wrote about not being broken. And I really do believe that we, I, am not broken. In my head, I genuinely think this. In my heart, I struggle every day. I know that I am growing and learning about how to move beyond the trauma, but I am also still struggling … Continue reading Is it fear of failure or success?
I was told by my daughter today that people who are not depressed tend to be proactive. "I'm proactive," I said. "Everyday I make plans and come up with strategies on how to get out of bed and accomplish things, like making it through the day." "That's not proactive, that's survival," she said. "That's stupid," … Continue reading “That is not your story”
Fear can become so intense that I feel there is nowhere in my body that is safe. It is a feeling that crawls at my skin from the inside. Then, just as suddenly as the fear arrived, it goes away. If it doesn’t go away it at least dissipates to a point of bearability. This … Continue reading Breathing Through Fear