I spent the last few weeks looking at a habit. I wanted to see where this new habit came from. Well, I knew where it came from. It came from my need or desire to escape the things that were bothering me. What I really wanted to know was what I was escaping. And it … Continue reading Looking Closely at Habits
I started listening to a master class on breaking habits this morning. There was a lot of information in the two lectures I heard. The basis of what he was discussing is based on neurology and mindfulness. I have been meditating for several years now and am learning the joys of being mindful. This information got … Continue reading Working on Habits
I have been watching the chickens a lot this summer. I have found that some of them like to be by themselves, but one of them panics every time she notices that she is alone. This particular chicken is named Wolverine. (This because the feather arrangement around her face reminded us of Wolverine’s sideburns.) Wolverine … Continue reading Learning from Chickens
Several weeks ago I wrote about not being broken. And I really do believe that we, I, am not broken. In my head, I genuinely think this. In my heart, I struggle every day. I know that I am growing and learning about how to move beyond the trauma, but I am also still struggling … Continue reading Is it fear of failure or success?
I was told by my daughter today that people who are not depressed tend to be proactive. "I'm proactive," I said. "Everyday I make plans and come up with strategies on how to get out of bed and accomplish things, like making it through the day." "That's not proactive, that's survival," she said. "That's stupid," … Continue reading “That is not your story”
Fear can become so intense that I feel there is nowhere in my body that is safe. It is a feeling that crawls at my skin from the inside. Then, just as suddenly as the fear arrived, it goes away. If it doesn’t go away it at least dissipates to a point of bearability. This … Continue reading Breathing Through Fear
Fear and Longing are very powerful forces. They tell us that we can't do something while at the same time telling us that we are lost without it. Social experiences for me are often like this. I have an intense fear of doing social things and at the same time, I have an overwhelming need to be … Continue reading Showing Up