I was going to write about what I would like people to know and understand about having PTSD. I deleted the whole thing. It felt like a rant and not something helpful at all. Although sometimes rants are helpful. But I would like to share instead all the positive things I feel that I have because or in spite of having PTSD.
And unsure of how to do that I decided to write a poem. And here it is.
I am only as strong as I believe
IF everyone could see me in my true form
They would know and understand
If everyone could see me when I push through
When I make it to the other side of the pain
They would not be so quick to judge.
If everyone could see the courage that breathing requires
They would stop wondering if I could accomplish something
If everyone could see that the greatest strength I have
Is in knowing that I can do what I need to
It is in knowing that though the price is high
I can hide and lick my wounds later
After I have accomplished what I am doing.
If people could understand
That I do truly know my limitations
And that I am perfectly capable of challenging them
I change and grow everyday.
I can move beyond the limitations people put on me
Because the bar I set for myself is so much higher
If everyone could see my true form
They would see the scars that have healed
And the great beauty of the healed scars,
Mixed with the great light of my soul
Have made me who I am.
Not perfect, not the same as everyone else
Sometimes more fragile
But infinitely growing and always changing.