Healing can be insanely painful. I have begun to think of it like when I exercise and my muscles are really sore the next day. When you exercise, it is my understanding that you are stretching and tearing the muscles and they heal making them stronger. That is what it feels like for me sometimes.
I do things that I have never done before and then I pay a price, like the sore muscles, only in my case it is panic and anxiety. But once I work through the anxiety (and sometimes it can take days) I am a little stronger and it is not quiet so painful the next time I try to do something. And that is where I have been lately. Trying new things that stretch and hurt and trying them again.
Only each time I do I am a little bit stronger.
andthenislept 
Thanks for sharing this. I am so glad that you are getting stronger. This process is so painful and mostly really scary…it just doesn’t seem possible that I will feel better, or for that matter ever be so brave to continue working through it. ❤ ❤
It is hard. And sometimes it seems like it is two steps forward and a mile backward. But it is so worth it to keep moving. You wake up in the morning and realize that you are doing things that a week ago you could not do. You can do this. And you know that you can move forward because you think about moving forward. Even that little bit is moving forward. I believe in you. You can do this.
This is so often true, Leslie. When we first moved to Vermont and i was looking for a job I would do information interviews. I would have a good interview then I’d get into my car and weep because the putting out to strangers, selling one’s self to strangers was so hard. But it worked. I got a job I wanted as a counselor. Anyway that experience seemed in line with what you’re describing – stretching one’s self is hard but does get easier…oy.
Thanks Michele. Seems like I am doing a lot of new or hard things right now. All at the same time. UGH!