This is my third attempt at writing this post. I have tried two other topics before this one. The first felt morbid beyond belief, even though it really wasn’t and the second one had absolutely no direction. I am supposed to be finishing a paper and my brain stalled out. It is one of those things that happens when I want to be any where but where I am.
There are at least ten books waiting patiently for me to read them. None of which have anything to do with school. And at least five art projects. But here I sit working, or supposed to be working on this paper. It is the last of the semester which is probably why it is so hard to finish. But there are so many other things calling to me.
There is the pintrest page I have not looked at in two months. The books I have mentioned. The games I want to play. And the mindless staring at the television while snuggled up with the little ones. Not to mention the baking…
All of which get farther and farther away as I procrastinate writing the paper. It is an interesting paper. And I have all the information. It is the act of actually sitting and writing that I want to avoid. It used to be that I dreaded paper writing because I did not believe that I had anything to say or that I would say it poorly. I have gotten past that at this point. Yet sometimes I am still afraid that I sound like I have no idea what I am talking about. All right that happens more than I want to think it does.
So in honor of my reward system I have decided to reward myself with a bottle of sparkling juice ( I don’t drink) and a nice dinner when I have finished and submitted everything I need to do. Thus said I should get back to work. I wish I didn’t procrastinate. But if i didn’t I would not be me.