There are those moments when I am minding my own business. Not really thinking about anything. Maybe having a conversation in my head on the rationalization of why I should have that piece of cake. And then, BOOM, I just say something. It doesn’t make any sense and has nothing to do with anything. It is just a random thing.

People look at you asking what you said. Now you have to say “nothing.” And try to figure out how to not be embarrassed by your brain throwing random things out into the world. That happens to me, not a lot, but frequently enough to have a term attached to it. If I am with family I just say sorry, “My brain threw up.” And they understand. I know I am not the only one who does this because I have casually asked around. And other people do this also.

I am also an introvert. I feel good talking to one or two people. But more than one or two and I am totally lost. That and having a conversation with me sometimes is like warming up your car on a cold day. I very seldom can just start right up in an intelligent conversation.  I feel like I say stupid things and come off looking like an idiot. I have been told that, “No you do not sound like an idiot.” But it feels that way. I have zero trouble speaking in front of a crowd. But conversation is a bit tricky.

I think that is why my brain throws up. It secretly, unbeknownst to me, wants to engage people. Or at least more than I do. And so, thinking that this would be a good conversation started has my mouth open and the words “blue car” just pop right out there. I have never successfully started a conversation that way. I have received strange looks though.

Ever have one of those daydreams that you are being interviewed by someone? I do. But mostly I think I do it just in case. That way if for any reason I have to talk to someone in that way I will not look like my brain went into reverse and I say the absolute wrong thing. Besides practice makes perfect. 

Happy New Year!