There have been so many times that I have never tried to do something because I was afraid. I do not mean hang gliding or rock climbing. Those will probably never happen. The first because I am truly terrified of heights and the second because that type of dexterity left me a while ago. Though it could come back if I work at it. No, the type of fear that I am talking about is the fear of failing.
I haven’t written the book I always wanted to because I was afraid it would never be published. And it won’t at this rate. Or of taking a chance to meet someone. Or of trying something new, anything new. This fear has ruled me for so long. And here is the thing, I would probably be just fine at what ever I wanted to do. I am always amazed at the amount of belief in me other people have.
And I guess that is a big part of it. Other people see us without all the fog we put up to blind ourselves. I have been struggling along in life trying to get through school or trying to understand something and think I am failing miserably. Yet, the people around me keep saying I am doing great. Perhaps it is time that I take stock of what i have accomplished in life. And try to do those things.
A very wise friend of mine, Sandra, keeps telling me I can do these things. And that I need to just tell myself that I can do anything. I can write that book, or sing that song, or apply for that internship. All those years of allowing the trauma to keep me down, of believing all those things that I was told and internalized, needs to come to an end. Because those things were not true then and they are not true now.
I can do all the things that I want to do. And in the immortal words of Allie Brosch, “I can do anything!” ( Hyperbole and a half).
8 thoughts on “Afraid to Fail”
You CAN do anything. I am totally in awe of just how accomplished you are. You are and have always been amazing! I’m sorry that I didn’t always recognize that or tell you so but I will endeavor to make up for it. YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
With you for a big sister how could I not be?
Can totally relate to this. Only recent tough times have totally diminished most of the “can do” voice in my head.
I know that feeling. I am struggling through that also. I hope you peace in you thoughts.
Remember that you are not alone and I am struggling with a course in school that my brain will not wrap around. It just sucks all the can do out of me. I hope everything works smoothly for you.
Thank you so much. I hope so too. I’m facing similar college related problems (my future practically depends on overcoming it) as well as problems on the personal front. Together sometimes, it gets a bit much. Thanks again, and I hope the same for you.
Wish you all the best.
And you as well.