Reading to escape, again. I have found myself reading more of what I want to read and less of what I need to read. I am still in school and find that when I reach this level of feeling overwhelmed I just want to escape. The whole wait until I finish the course thing does not work. I want to escape and I want it now. Fiction preferably, something that does not make me cry. Something that sends all those happy thoughts and feelings into play would be good. Like reading a good love story. Or any book that ends with a happy ending. Anything that is not related to school. Which is what got me stressed in the first placed.
So, though I should be reading and writing papers I find myself reading other things. I do go back to work. I know I should be focused. I just want to escape all the things that worry me. I just want to be free to lie on the couch and read and eat bonbons. Let the sun shine on me through the window. Hear the gentle strains of relaxing music playing in the background. While I am daydreaming this I may as well ask for meals I don’t have to cook and a clean kitchen I didn’t have to clean.
Today is a day I wish to escape from. But I can’t. I have to work on my studies and get them finished. I am trying to escape and not face the many things that are always there. Some escape is good. But not today. Today I have to work my little behind off and finish all the work I put off by escaping yesterday. Today I am the little engine that could and I will work through all the papers and get the reading done. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
Then tomorrow, when all this is done and the work is finished, I have a book to read.