I have spent a lot of time thinking about how lucky I am to be alive. How amazing it is to wake up in the morning Even with the nightmares and everything else. I still get to see the sun rise in the morning and set in the afternoon.
I am who I am because of the things that happened to me. Because of those things I am more empathic to people and their pain. I understand the overreaching sadness that come over people when depression claims them. And I know how to protect myself. Maybe not physically as much as I would like, but I know how to shut off the people who would otherwise suck the emotional life out of me. The ones that talk to you and demand from you your complete attention in a way that pulls out your energy. Everyone has experienced them before. And sometimes it is just a matter of walking away. Even when you think you might be hurting their feelings.
I am glad that I have learned who I am. That learning who I am is a process. And that I will continue to learn as I grow. I am thankful that I can experience all of the joys that I have in life now. That even though I have lost so much of my life to the apathy of depression, I am moving and growing now.
I have survived the dark room of fire and I have come out the other end. I am grateful that I have lived to tell the tale of my trauma and that the trauma did not consume me. Everyone has the potential to overcome the demons in their life and I am grateful that I have found that to be true.