There is a fir tree outside my bedroom window. When there is no snow and the day is clear, the branches all curve upwards to the sun. However, when it snows, the branches of the tree all sag downward with the weight of the snow. The tree sometimes looks like a collapsed umbrella. Depression can … Continue reading Be the Tree
Safety or Comfort
I have been slowly reading through Emotional Agility. It is taking me a while to work my way through the book. I read some, and then I think about it. I have started to write in my books. Something that I did very seldom and only with textbooks when I was in college. I have opted for … Continue reading Safety or Comfort
Trauma, Depression, and Body Image
I bought a new journal. I purchased this journal to write down all the things I am trying to process and understand. I am trying to work through several things simultaneously. It is a lovely lined journal, a beautiful shade of maroon. And I think that I have begun to be afraid of it. I … Continue reading Trauma, Depression, and Body Image
Depression Check list
The last few weeks have been hard for me. My depression got a jump start due to a conversation that triggered some of my trauma responses. And then some other things happened that triggered more trauma responses. I call them trauma responses for the lack of a better term. My body reacts to the trigger … Continue reading Depression Check list
Trying to find a way through
Here where I live, Autumn has arrived. And the beauty of the change in woods where I live has eased my heart. It is beautiful to sit and revel in the colors of the leaves. I have been reading the book Emotional Agility by Susan David. It has been very illuminating. I am gaining a better understanding … Continue reading Trying to find a way through
Depression and the Art of Listening to Myself
These have been dark days. Depression, which usually lies as an underthought to my day, has begun controlling things again. I seem to spend more time hiding in bed because my heart hurts. My heart hurts because I am triggering my body into self-protection mode, much like what it went into right before I got … Continue reading Depression and the Art of Listening to Myself
Moving from Anxiety to a Plan
Living with a mental illness is difficult. When I am at home, I have trouble coping with some situations, but all I have to do is say I am having difficulty. In contrast, many things trigger my anxiety out in the world, so many opportunities for my executive functions to freeze up. An excellent example … Continue reading Moving from Anxiety to a Plan
On Reading Duchess Goldblatt
To continue the theme of books I have been reading, I thought I would write about the book I just finished. At the beginning of June, I asked my family if they wanted to start a reading group. We played a pick a number type of decision matrix, and I got to pick the first … Continue reading On Reading Duchess Goldblatt
The Strugle of Worth
I started re-reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. The first time I read the book, I only made it about halfway and hated it. The more I read, the angrier I felt. I couldn't understand what was so special. I was doing just fine; thank you very much. Here we are several years into the … Continue reading The Strugle of Worth
Why we need to revisit books
This morning I went for a drive with my husband. Some of my best conversations happen in cars. My family has told me that at home I am very distracted. I completely agree with them. I spend my time at home, paying attention to everything going on in the house, and interacting with every event … Continue reading Why we need to revisit books
