A few weeks ago, I went to the new cardiologist. I had been looking forward to seeing them since I was able to make the appointment. I had planned to make a day of it when I made the 2-hour drive to Burlington. The plan consisted of a well-chosen audiobook and a stop at the … Continue reading Anxiety and Feeling Less than Myself
Hiding
Depression has a way of sneaking up on me. I have been doing pretty well for a while on the depression front. I have had my low times and also some hard times. The darkness that I struggled through for much of the fall and winter was crushing but has passed. I felt like things … Continue reading Hiding
Sleep
Sleep is one of the most incredible things in the world. There is nothing like a warm bed on a cold night or a pile of comfortable pillows to make into a nest giving you a snug and safe feeling. I love the feeling of slowly falling off to sleep and experiencing the snuggling comfort … Continue reading Sleep
Remembering
These posts are pieces from the book on healing that I have been working on, and some of them were written months ago, while others are written more recently. remembering trauma I hate remembering the trauma. The process my mind has set up is usually heralded in by nightmares. I rate my nightmares on a … Continue reading Remembering
Fear
There may be aspects of this post that could be triggering for some people. Fear. It is what I wake up to in the mornings and what I go to bed with at night. It is underlying my every interaction. Fear is the devastating thing that eats at my body as I lie in the … Continue reading Fear
Anxiety
I often feel terror in the stillness of my chest. My first thought is that my heart has short-circuited again. So I try to quiet the feelings long enough to feel my heart and count its rhythm. Then I keep breathing. I keep pulling air in and letting air out. I do this as quietly … Continue reading Anxiety
Going in a Little Different Direction
For the past few years, I have been randomly writing about healing and the ways I cope with life. After spending some time thinking about what to write (Which is why I haven't written in so long). I have come up with what feels to me to be a good plan. I have decided to … Continue reading Going in a Little Different Direction
What am I doing to stay sane?
I read several blogs about books. One of the ones that I turn to regularly is Modern Mrs. Darcy. Yesterday she posed the question of what is saving us right now? At first, my response was reading. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that that was not actually true. Though … Continue reading What am I doing to stay sane?
Learning to Listen
For several years now, I have been utilizing the Calm.com app for my meditations. I have a routine I try to follow every day when I wake up. I attempt to wake up, roll onto my back and find a comfortable position; then, I turn on the Calm meditation for the day. I follow this … Continue reading Learning to Listen
Gratitude and Healing
My husband and I watched the movie Spotlight earlier this week. If you are not familiar with the movie, it is about the Boston Globe's investigative reporters reporting on the Catholic Church's abuse scandal. The film was hard to watch only because of the subject matter. In turns, I was reacting viscerally to the trauma-related by the … Continue reading Gratitude and Healing