My husband and I watched the movie Spotlight earlier this week. If you are not familiar with the movie, it is about the Boston Globe's investigative reporters reporting on the Catholic Church's abuse scandal. The film was hard to watch only because of the subject matter. In turns, I was reacting viscerally to the trauma-related by the … Continue reading Gratitude and Healing
Gratitude and Forgiveness
As with all new things, I have hopes and expectations. The New Year is no exception to this. Other years I have set up goals and tried to accomplish great feats. This year I have decided to do something different. It seems like everyone is talking about living a life of gratitude. On my meditation … Continue reading Gratitude and Forgiveness
To Reject or Not to Reject
Rejection is never easy. I spend a lot of time thinking about rejection. Focusing on past rejections and trying to figure out what I did wrong. Sometimes I may have done something wrong, and there are times when it was just the wrong time or place. I spent a lot of my childhood rejected by … Continue reading To Reject or Not to Reject
Be the Tree
There is a fir tree outside my bedroom window. When there is no snow and the day is clear, the branches all curve upwards to the sun. However, when it snows, the branches of the tree all sag downward with the weight of the snow. The tree sometimes looks like a collapsed umbrella. Depression can … Continue reading Be the Tree
Safety or Comfort
I have been slowly reading through Emotional Agility. It is taking me a while to work my way through the book. I read some, and then I think about it. I have started to write in my books. Something that I did very seldom and only with textbooks when I was in college. I have opted for … Continue reading Safety or Comfort
Trauma, Depression, and Body Image
I bought a new journal. I purchased this journal to write down all the things I am trying to process and understand. I am trying to work through several things simultaneously. It is a lovely lined journal, a beautiful shade of maroon. And I think that I have begun to be afraid of it. I … Continue reading Trauma, Depression, and Body Image
Depression Check list
The last few weeks have been hard for me. My depression got a jump start due to a conversation that triggered some of my trauma responses. And then some other things happened that triggered more trauma responses. I call them trauma responses for the lack of a better term. My body reacts to the trigger … Continue reading Depression Check list
Trying to find a way through
Here where I live, Autumn has arrived. And the beauty of the change in woods where I live has eased my heart. It is beautiful to sit and revel in the colors of the leaves. I have been reading the book Emotional Agility by Susan David. It has been very illuminating. I am gaining a better understanding … Continue reading Trying to find a way through
Depression and the Art of Listening to Myself
These have been dark days. Depression, which usually lies as an underthought to my day, has begun controlling things again. I seem to spend more time hiding in bed because my heart hurts. My heart hurts because I am triggering my body into self-protection mode, much like what it went into right before I got … Continue reading Depression and the Art of Listening to Myself
Moving from Anxiety to a Plan
Living with a mental illness is difficult. When I am at home, I have trouble coping with some situations, but all I have to do is say I am having difficulty. In contrast, many things trigger my anxiety out in the world, so many opportunities for my executive functions to freeze up. An excellent example … Continue reading Moving from Anxiety to a Plan
